Taranjit
Dear Future Husband,
Looking for a traditional girl, who will just sit quietly and listen to everything you say without a peep? Sorry, not me my friend. Keep searching! I grew up in America and watching the movies here of how the man is such a gentleman, romantic, and treats his woman with respect has influenced my expectations of a partner. The guy always cares for his girl because he loves her and won’t let anyone hurt her. Future hubby, you have some expectations to live up to. Sorry to tell you, but both the woods, Hollywood and Bollywood, have influenced my perceptions of what a husband should be like and what life after marriage should be like.
I know there are certain things that I will just have to accept. Like, having an arranged marriage and that I must marry a Sikh Punjabi man. Which I won’t have a problem with if he does not have the older mindset of the roles of man and woman. Hopefully, the man chosen for me is not like typical Punjabi man. Old-fashioned and not dream-man like. I would not be able to survive. I can’t deal with that way they have been taught and raised to treat a woman. I am looking for my tall, dark and handsome, that, yes, has those traditional values when it comes to respecting elders and following our religion, but has also adapted to the modern lifestyle when it comes to how to treat a woman. Times have changed, my friend, and you should change with it to a certain degree. I am not telling you to ditch your beliefs or values, but just adjust and make yourself adapted to today’s times for the better, not worse.
I know that whoever I marry, I am not just marrying him, but I am marrying into a family. Your mom and dad will now be my mom and dad. Your brother and sister will now be my brother and sister. But, those new relationships formed work both ways. Just because I am the girl, doesn’t mean that once I leave my family to come to your house, that they no longer are my family. It just means that we both now have two moms, two dads, and twice the siblings. And if you can’t accept my family as your own, then we are not meant to be. Your match is still out there somewhere as is mine. That just means we need to keep searching.
I know that we will not be moving into a house, just the two of us, but instead will be moving in with the rest of your family. Your parents, your siblings, and your sisters-in-law, if you have any. But, a girl can dream of having a house with just her and her husband, right? Growing up in America, and living with only my immediate family, I never experienced living in an extended family. That may be part of the reason why I think of just the two of us in our house, but I know that is not possible. So, I will let the dream stay a dream, and slowly float away as I get closer to reality. I will have to learn to live with the idea of not having that privacy. I guess it is part of growing up Indian. But a girl can dream, right?
Sincerely,
Every Modern Punjabi Girl, awaiting for her “Prince Charming” before she says “Yes”
