Taranjit
Dear Future Husband,
This is totally random, but I was just thinking about it. Where will we go on our honeymoon? Will you take me on one? Just curious. I sure hope we go somewhere, and I hope you like to go out and explore. I hope you are not those type of vacationers that like to sit there and do nothing. (Yes, I have a lot of hopes).
Being a girl that was raised to not be allowed to go anywhere without my parents, not even to a friend’s house, I want to get out and do things. Explore. See new places. Experience new cultures. Have fun. I definitely don’t want to just stay at a resort or sit by a pool for the entire week.
We could do that any weekend at home, not that I am saying that is something I would do. But just saying. Let’s go somewhere we haven’t been. Enjoy life. Get to know each other. I hope I didn’t already scare you off yet. If I did, then you probably wouldn’t want to read the rest of this letter.
How do you picture our wedding? Do you want it to be a big thing or something small? Do you want a reception? Or could you do without one? I am curious to hear your thoughts. (Obviously, you would have to write back for me to hear them – more like read them).
Personally, I want a small, intimate affair. And the reception, I could do without. When I was younger, and I dreamed about my marriage, I used to picture it as a big, fancy, smancy wedding ceremony. There would be beautiful decorations, lots of people, and my outfit would be extravagant (but I guess that’s how we all imagine it as a kid). And, there was definitely a reception party where there would be lots of danceable, upbeat music, food, and fun. But, then I got older and the reality of life settled upon me, and my dreams began to change. I no longer want a huge wedding ceremony.
I want a small one where only close friends and family attended. I am not the showoff type. I am not all about trying to outdo other weddings or please others. It’s our wedding and it should be the way we want it, not how our uncles and aunties want it to be.
Not to mention, I can’t afford to have it big and luxurious, and I am not so big on being the center of attention. The less people there are, the less that I will embarrass myself in front of them, and the less people there are to complain and nitpick every detail about the ceremony. Because we all know, I will probably do something embarrassing. Like my legs would fall asleep, so when I get up, I walk funny. Or worse, trip. That would be humiliating. So, please, be mindful of that and walk slowly during the pehre.
And, I know how the cost of the wedding ceremony is usually on the shoulders of the girl’s family. At least that is what I have heard from many relatives. Hint. Hint.
If you haven’t gotten the idea yet, then let me help make it clearer. We aren’t rich. We can barely afford a small, simple wedding. There is no way we could afford a big one. Not to mention, my sister is so close in age that her turn is just around the corner. That is not enough time for my parents to recover from the cost of mine. If you want a bigger ceremony, then you will have to lend a hand, or be happy with the small one. Or better yet, we could share the cost of the wedding and just not have a reception? Just an idea.
Speaking of center of attention, I sure hope you are not the show-off type, that needs to impress the guests. The amount of money you spend may never be enough to make all the guests happy. That is why I think we should save the money and put it to use for our future. Because we could become broke and still not please every guest. Why be miserable for the rest of our life just so one day is spent making the guests happy. Better to just do what makes us happy. After all, it is our wedding and we have to spend the rest of our lives together. The guests are just going to come for one day, and then never think twice about the consequences of the cost of such an extravagant wedding. People are going to talk no matter what you do, so its better to just do you.
My new dream is that after the wedding is over, we go home and crash. We will already be so exhausted from the wedding ceremony. So why rush and add more stress of getting to the reception venue. Having a reception to attend afterwards is not something I want anymore. The reception isn’t even for us. It is more for show and those who like to drink and want to eat food and dance all night. I, for one don’t drink, and two, don’t have a big stomach. Not to mention, I go to bed early, and there is no way I will be able to stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning. It will be a miracle if I even make it past 10:30. Call me old, but I prefer sleep over partying. And dancing, not my thing. Remember how I said I don’t like being the center of attention? Yea, so I will probably not be doing much dancing.
Also, when I attend parties, I often find myself lonely and bored. I know I will have you, but you are not going to stay by my side the entire night. So, while you are hanging with your friends, I will probably be sitting there alone, with no one to talk to. So, the reception I can do without. Better yet. Why not just save that money and put it to better use. Like our honeymoon or save it so it for a house instead of spending it all on one night, that we both probably will not enjoy.
If you say that you really want one, then I guess I can’t do much about it. But, I hope we could compromise. Maybe, have it end early? Put it the next day, and during the daytime and not into the ungodly hours of the night? God made those hours for sleeping, not staying awake.
After all, marriage is all about compromise. So, why not start from day one? I look forward to hearing back from you, and hope both of our dreams are fulfilled. Until next time, enjoy single life.
Sincerely,
Every Modern Punjabi Girl, awaiting for her “Prince Charming” before she says “Yes”
