Taranjit
Dear future husband,
I don’t understand why my aunt came to my mom with a proposal of a guy for me and barely had any details on the guy. Wouldn’t you just wait until you had some sort of information to give along with the fact there is a guy for me? Instead of, we found a guy for you, are you interested?
How am I supposed to know if I am interested just from knowing he is a guy? Of course, he is a guy. I know that much. I am going to marry a guy. But that is not enough for me to make a decision on whether I am interested or if he is the one. That’s a little silly to expect me to decide from just that.
This aunt was one we would see every time we went to the Gurdwara, so she would ask every time she saw us. Is she interested? But would not have any more information to give us. It was kind of crazy.
What felt like months, but was more like several weeks, my aunt finally provided my mom with some information. But she was still not 100% sure of the information she was giving us. Which I don’t understand why they don’t think it is necessary to get accurate information before passing it on. Do they not realize that this is going to impact my life? How can I decide if guy # 1 is the one just from inaccurate information? It makes no sense to me. Bu yet, my aunt keeps asking what is my answer? Well, if you gave me more dets, I could make a decision.
Anyways, finally, my aunt passed on some information. Or at least the information she knew along with some of her speculations. So, yeah. Still don’t know how to take it and what to believe. But here’s a quick snapshot. Guy #1 is one year older than me, lives in California, didn’t go to college, and works for his dad’s business. And here’s is how my mind analyzed the details given to me:
Age: Is not bad. He is close in age to me, which is what I am looking for. He is someone who grew up in the same generation as me so we have the same mentality and thinking. Check!
Education: Not super attracted to the fact that he didn’t go to college, considering I have 2 degrees. But it is not a huge turn-off factor, as long as he is not struggling to make a living and is able to support a family. Because, I can’t live life the way I have been living it. My parents work low paying jobs and my entire life I sacrificed everything. I knew my parents didn’t have much money and I didn’t want to be a burden. So I never asked them for anything. I always told myself, I would wait until I began earning to start fulfilling my dreams and needs. So, don’t blame me, if I would like a better life for myself. I worked hard for it and I deserve it.
Location: At one point, I did want to move to California because the weather is so nice. But after visiting recently (now that I am older), it is no longer appealing to me. Don’t get me wrong, it is a great place to visit, but not to live (at least for me. Personal opinion.).
Career: He doesn’t really have one. At the sound of it, he didn’t end up going to college and was just like I will work for my dad. The way my aunt was describing it, it doesn’t seem like he has any future career plans. He’s planning on going with the flow with no goals in mind. That doesn’t sound very appealing to me at all. My man should have some goals of what he wants out of life and dreams of how he sees his future.
After a constant back and forth, days of me going he could be the one to days of it not feeling right, I had made my decision. Future hubby, you are reading this so you already know the answer which is that he was not the one for me. Whenever I am unsure about a decision and keep going back and forth, I always look up to God for an answer.
If you ask, he will give. And he gave. He gave me a gut feeling that I should say no. God probably tried to give me a sign that he is not the match I have chosen for you.
Hence why the getting more information on guy #1 process kept dragging on and took so long. It was not meant to be. And God was trying to give hints that he is not the right guy all along. It just took me some time to make sense of those hints. All I know is I have faith in God and He would never do me harm. He knows what is right for me and who is right for me. And He will send him into my life when I am ready.
Sincerely,
Every Modern Punjabi Girl, awaiting for her “Prince Charming” before she says “Yes”
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