Taranjit
Dear Future Husband,
Well, if you are reading this, then you should know that you whether or not you are the guy from proposal #2. After weeks of back and forth and trying to wring information out about guy #2, I have finally made my decision.
Let me back it up a little for you. My uncle called several times after telling us about guy #2. He loves to be in the know. Basically, he’s the gossip hub. He knows it all and tells it to everyone. So, naturally, he is curious where I landed on my decision. But, of course, my mom kept telling him that we need more information. Especially, the fact that he needs to get a few basic pieces of information from the guy and his family. Accurate information.
So far, I was not told with confidence what his age is and what he does for a living. It has all been guesses from everyone. It started off as, oh he’s 28. Then, it turned to he is 30. And randomly in between I got information that he may be a smoker (which I will get back to that juicy misunderstanding in a bit). And then every person my parents called also gave different numbers for his age. In other words, everyone was guessing. No one knew for sure.
When I first heard his age (28), I was okay with it. Because at the time that was only about a 3-4 year difference. Which is not bad. He was close to my age. But then when we kept getting a different number each time we got a phone call with more information, I became hesitant on this proposal. However, my dad was planning on going to meet the family and the prospective guy to get accurate information as this proposal had moved a little further than the first one.
Before he did go and visit the family, he had called his friends in Virginia. Since they seem to know a lot of the Punjabi families in the area. And one of his friends told him that guy #2 used to smoke. Wait. What?! That is an automatic no from me. No thank you. I can’t stand smoking. Even if he had quit. Nope. No. Uh-huh. Not happening.
So now that this was in my head, it kept overshadowing any other information I received. But my dad’s friend called back and said he was thinking of a different guy. He mistook guy #2 for someone else’s son. Why even say something like that until you are sure about the guy you are providing dets about? Punjabis and jumping the gun. It’s too late. Now that this idea was in my head, it was hard to shake it off. I just kept telling myself, wait until dad goes to speak to the family and gets accurate information. (Although, I doubt they would tell my dad about guy #2’s smoking habit, if he had one.) But all I could do was wait.
In the meantime, I began doing some social media searching to see if I could get some information on this guy while I waited. Too bad I came up with no information. Guy #2 was barely on any social media platforms. And I think, I ended up finding him on Facebook, but it looked like he hadn’t been on it in years. So, that was a bust.
Anyways, my dad came back with more information and some pictures of guy #2. Guy #2 was 32, lives in Virginia, and works as a financial analyst at I am not going to tell you. (Did you seriously think I would put the name of his work here? No silly. I would never says name under breath covered by a cough ).
32! Yeah. That is too old. And way off from what they had initially told me. Think about it. That’s a seven-year gap. When I was just starting middle school, he was graduating high school! (Yes, as you can tell, I am a very logical person.) No thank you. Too much of a gap for me.
As you can probably tell, I ended up saying no to this offer. Wow. Offer sounds too harsh or negative of a connotation. Proposal. I ended up saying no to this proposal. I think my dad was a little annoyed and relieved at the same time.
Annoyed because he wasted his time and only day off getting information, driving to Virginia, and visiting guy #2’s family. And relieved because that means he doesn’t have to spend money yet.
And if you know Indian weddings, they are super expensive, and the parents usually cover most of the cost (although, since times have changed, I plan on covering as much of the cost myself rather than putting it on my parents. I would never want them to go into debt for me). So, I don’t blame him.
As for saying no to the proposal, I am content with the decision. I am still very young, just reached my mid-20s not too long ago. And I still have time. For now, I will enjoy single life and spend the time with my family. Because once I am married, my life will change completely and who knows when I will have time to see them.
Sincerely,
Every Modern Punjabi Girl, awaiting for her “Prince Charming” before she says “Yes”
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